mentions domestic violence
Six years ago, my former grad school neighbor and her son escaped an abusive marriage.
Back when we were both PhD students, she and her then-husband shared a wall with us. They were from a very different culture and background, and we worked hard not to question what we thought at the time was just a different way of life than what we were used to.
But looking back on it, we missed HUGE signs (I will not go into them). (2/4)
But I'll never forget about the years we could have asked if she was OK and didn't....because we thought it would come off as nosy and disrespectful.
There are far worse things in life than coming off as nosy and disrespectful.
If your gut is telling you to check in on someone, check in on them. (4/4)
@DrTCombs that sounds complicated. DV is real and insidious. You are right that it is always alright to check that someone is okay.
What we thought was respectful non-nosiness turned about to be a badly missed opportunity to let this person know we cared enough to ask if she was ok. She wasn't.
I'm so thankful that she and her son did eventually find their way out. They're now living their absolute best life, freely and peacefully. And she's now helping others find their way out as well, and it's so wonderful to see. (3/4)